Natalie Feng

Social labels often carry implicit expectations about appearance, success, intelligence, or behavior. These expectations can create a sense of constant evaluation and comparison, causing us to question our worth and feel anxious about not meeting perceived standards. When we internalize negative labels or stereotypes placed upon us, we start to doubt our abilities and potential. This self-doubt can undermine our confidence, motivation, and willingness to take risks, ultimately limiting our ability to pursue goals and aspirations.

How many times did we stop pursuing opportunities that we deserve, by self-doubt from not possessing certain preferred labels? How many times did we loaf around and miss the precious window to further develop, because we felt complacent with our achievements of some ephemeral labels?

Life is a complex system, and it is only by understanding our true strength and weakness through this complexity that we can find fulfillment along the road. One of the most remarkable abilities is to find patterns within complex and chaotic information. The important thing is not how many books you read or how many places you traveled, but rather how you apply the patterns you find to yourself. Mindlessly following the crowd without deep thought is merely vanity at play.

Being parent of a 10-year-old, although still early, I am surprised by revisiting the pressure of competing our next generation for their chance to enter prestigious colleges after 8 years. This got me thinking – where is the end of labeling? There is no end. Even if my kid got into the best college, it would only mildly influence her later life, or not at all.

The meaning of college is to look beyond the immediate experience of being in an academic institution and obtaining a diploma that bears a shiny school name. The purpose of education is to cultivate interesting souls, rather than living in pressure and fear. It is about learning how to learn, about developing intellectual curiosity that extends far beyond graduation.

If life is an experience, then the competition for getting into prestigious universities is like playing a computer game: Frantically fighting monsters, leveling up, and accumulating in-game currency can be somewhat obsessive. It’s wiser to explore new territories, think about the game’s design, find a few like-minded companions to form alliances or tribes, and fully immerse ourselves in every moment. That is not only a more fulfilling way to experience life, also a better shot for long term success. Prestigious schools cannot solve most real and practical problems, but wisdom can. Wisdom is not something that only emerges during college, it can be acquired every day as we grow.

Prestigious schools are a business, and like any business, they operate with commercial interests. It is like everyone knows that there are many fireworks displays on July 4th, but they also know that these events are crowded, so if you decide to join, be mentally prepared and go with a joyful mindset. However, if you choose not to go, there are still many enjoyable things to do. Getting labels is similar to watching fireworks, whether you attend or not, in the context of rest 364 days in a year, it doesn’t make much difference. However, those 364 days actually shape what you become today.